The Monster of Logic Suddenly Turns into a Cat
by Disremember
Summary: After chasing down his runaway cat Kamakura, Hikigaya Hachiman believes he can simply return to an uninteresting life of stagnating peace and solitude, but his feline companion has other plans to make his life far more eventful than he ever imagined...or wanted.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

* * *

The day had begun normally and proceeded normally. I had only wished it ended as such, but apparently that was wishful thinking.

How I found myself in this situation, I'd never quite figure out. What am I, some kind of protagonist? Sorry, but that role doesn't quite fit me. I was suited for a background character at best. I had only wanted to be left alone in peace, but as said protagonist, my desire for a stagnant timeline was the least of my apparent necessities. Hey, I never asked for any of this. Then again, I never ask for anything and something still happens...other than my undisturbed lonesome, that is.

It had all started when my undeniably cute little sister, Komachi, bursted through the door to my room panting. Was a trip up the stairs that tiring? She clearly ran, but still.

Her eyes instantly locked onto mine which were currently preoccupied with admiring the ceiling above my bed in mindless thought. Geez, by the look of them it simply had to be dire y'knooow~?

I had gone straight up stairs to my room after school and plopped myself onto my bed still in uniform. I was tired, that's the end of it. I think I napped but I couldn't remember clearly. Moreover, Zaimokuza had decided to visit the Service Club earlier that day, and his presence alone could tire anyone out. Seriously, when will his condition get any better?

Regardless though, her sudden entrance still startled me a little bit and I couldn't help but ask what was wrong. You know, because I'm a good onii-chan.

"Kamakura ran away!"

My eyes widened in surprise. What evil forces could've clouded the Hikigaya household guardian to do such a thing?! I Instinctively hopped off my bed and ran down the stairs, Komachi following behind me in the same hurried manner. I would probably never admit it but I cared about that cat. He was good for teasing and in turn making me forget about the problems of my life for a few glorious moments…and I guess he's therapeutic sometimes? Our eyes met once again and I hurriedly asked her;

"Where did he go?"

"To the left!"

She pointed out the front entrance to our home. Why it was open, I didn't know then, but I couldn't ask as I saw his small figure round the corner out our compound in the aforementioned direction Komachi told me. I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Stay here!"

Before she could respond, I started running after our home's guardian, closing the front door with a loud shut behind me, drowning out any calls of protest she had. Woah, I feel so heroic right now. I rounded the same corner and saw him way ahead of me on the sidewalk. It was at this moment I had realized I had forgotten to put on my shoes. I didn't have time for decency! Any more moments delayed and I would never catch up to the runaway!

Steeling myself I began to run after him without question, small pieces of gravel sticking themselves to the bottom of my socks over the course of the chase. I ignored it as they grounded into my feet with every step, becoming more intense as I pursued. I never lost sight of him, but we were very much out of the neighborhood by now. Kamakura, quit running or else I'll never brush your fur ever again!

I looked like a shoeless madman chasing after some cat through the streets judging by the stares of bewildered bystanders. Except, y'know, I kinda was but I had a damn good reason!

I lost track of time as my mind was only focused on catching Kamakura. I hadn't sprinted this long since the school marathon! Hell, it was probably longer than that at this point. Despite my above-average stamina, my need for air became more audible as time passed, but I was relentless to catch the four-legged fiend. Seemed I forgot to pace myself as I continued this ordeal. Suddenly, I saw him round another corner into an alley. I stopped abruptly at the intersection, spotting a wall several feet in front of me. It appeared he had reached an indefinite dead end. Nowhere to go now, you tactful bastard.

Catching my breath, I looked behind me before entering the enclosure. Huh? When had the sky turned orange? I subconsciously lifted my wrist to check the time only to see that I didn't have it on me. I quickly patted myself down upon that realization. It didn't appear I had my phone on me either. Must've left them back home on my nightstand...

I briefly face-palmed at my own simple mindedness. Being heroic requires thinking ahead of time, huh. I had no way of contacting Komachi of my situation nor telling the current time. Still, I had to at least return with him before nightfall. I refocused on the dark, empty alley in front of me, the upper body of my shadow mixing in along with it. I wiped the sweat on my forehead with my sleeve, seemingly relieving the ominous feeling I was getting as I slowly proceeded. Though, that was just for a moment. The just barely audible sound of my bare footsteps on the concrete seemed to echo off the stone walls.

"Kamakura?"

I listened for his rather distinct "meow" but nothing came from the darkness. Why would I ever expect a response from a cat? The only time he ever responds to me is when I brush his fur or fill his food bowl.

The previous, ominous feeling suddenly came back to me in a wave. Wasn't the street behind me full of people just now? It was strangely quiet, but I moved forward regardless. I squinted my eyes in hopes I could see something from the setting sun behind me amidst the other buildings that just barely illuminated the alley. To no avail. It was no use in the first place.

"Meow~"

I whipped my entire body around to the source of the call. My eyes naturally trailed down. When had Kamakura gotten behind me? I looked at the small figure before me. Wait, that isn't Kamakura. It was a pure black cat. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Didn't some Western cultures dictate that spotting a black cat was bad omen? I couldn't help but feel something bad really was going to inevitably happen despite it being a mere belief. In any case, that explains that ominous aura I was perceiving just now. Kamakura, now would be a good time to show off your unmatched guardian skills!

The feral black cat took a few steps forward and stopped at the shadow line casted off by the building. _Heh, I don't suppose you've seen a white and gray cat with green eyes pass by here, have you?_ The cat tilted its head at me as if it had heard my internal musing, swaying its tail in the air in a curious manner. It was likely a stray judging from the lack of a collar. I briefly shook my head; I didn't have time for this. Any later and Komachi would start to get worried about me.

I turned around again only to be met with another cat, albeit pure white. My eyes widened in surprise and I took a single step back. This one lacked a collar too. Looking behind me again the black cat was still there not having moved an inch, its yellow eyes observing my every action. I turned back to the opposite variant, its blue eyes appearing to do the same. It seemed to be the same distance as the other cat behind me. Is there some kind of ritual going on here? Am I getting progressively mugged here? More importantly, I'm receiving some strange Yin and Yang vibes here. I'm sure Yukinoshita would be having the time of her life right now, exclude this daunting atmosphere. Even one cat would be able to make her heart flutter, I'm sure. Geez, that woman should just get a cat already. That book she once kept on reading with the black cat on the front cover would be helpful with the predator behind me in particular. Maybe I should ask to borrow it from her one day. Then again it might just be a picture collage of felines. Which in that case let me borrow it anyway.

While I was a bit lost in thought, the yin-yang cats incarnate approached me with a subtle grace and started to slowly encircle me similar to how sharks would boats. My mind couldn't seem to grasp at what was happening. Their tails became stiff and grazed the entirety of my lower legs as they conducted their…thing, whatever it was. This has got to be some kind of ritual— no, trap!

…Yet I wouldn't move.

Their presence released an aura that simply begged their innocence, something anyone would deem untrustworthy instantly. They had been looking up at me since they started, the blue and yellow orbs of their big eyes never failing to meet mine as they passed by each round. They had done it several times by now, and around eight times I felt my eyes get extremely heavy.

Suddenly my shoulders felt so relaxed… Ah, what is this absolutely serene sensation? I didn't know whether to consider it overwhelming or intoxicating. Getting drowsier by the second, I felt my knees meet the ground, but I couldn't even feel the usual subtle pain upon making impact with the bits of gravel. I struggled to keep my eyes open. I felt so drowsy it was like I couldn't even move my fingers anymore. The cats that had been circling me earlier seemingly disappeared without a trace, as if they'd just become one with the air I breathed. I convinced myself I was in trouble, yet neither my mind nor body felt that I was in the slightest danger aside from this false sense of serenity. My entire form eventually collapsed to the ground, almost completely unable to move. Before I knew I was going to go out, I saw a small figure approach me in the looming darkness from the depths of the alley. I could hear myself choke out one last thing before my eyelids finally gave in.

"Kama…kura…"


	2. Justly, Kamakura Knows Everything

**Chapter 1: Justly, Kamakura Knows Everything**

* * *

I stirred and slowly opened my eyes. They looked up to a light blue sky filled with clouds lazily flying overhead. Two buildings to the sides of my vision obscured me from seeing an otherwise wide, open sky. Wait, what? Why am I surrounded by buildings? Unnaturally huge buildings for that matter. Didn't I return home to Komachi with Kamakura and…

As I quickly tried to recall what happened to me the day before, an unfamiliar voice called out to me.

"Oh, awake already? Didn't expect you to rise early on a weekend."

The voice came from behind me, but seeing as I was for some reason on the ground, I slightly tilted my head back on the pavement, an overly familiar figure entering the top of my sights upside down.

It was Kamakura, the Hikigaya household pet. He was standing on what appeared to be a few empty crates, peering over and looking down at me from where he stood. His memorable green eyes looked at me speculatively and…was that a grin on his face? Also, why did his size somehow seem a lot closer to myself than usual?

"Kamakura…?"

I voiced my deliberate confusion. Was that Kamakura just now? Nah, no way. Cats don't communicate through Japanese. They go, like, meow and stuff. Yeah that's about right. I must be going insane to think cats can spontaneously begin to speak coherent tongue. And I'm sure if they did, owners would only hear phrases such as "feed me" or "pay attention to me", and perhaps the occasional affectionate one-liner "pet me, peasant" while proceeding to make threatening gestures with their claws because they deliberately didn't use the scratch post so they could send such messages. Wait, where did that come from? I had no such experience of that. Kamakura was a very well brought up and civil entity…

…That was unless you rolled your face into his stomach just to annoy him which would then provoke him to make sure he wasn't in the same room as you for a couple of minutes…or hours…or days…

Maybe he picked up that grudge habit from being around my little sister all the time. Then again, he'd always be there around you the moment you filled his food bowl. Cats really are jerks.

I let out an exasperated sigh. _Maybe that's why he ran away._ At least he's smart enough not to outright abandon his owners. _Wait a minute…_

"Hey, you sure you're not dead? Can I have your room?"

My eyes finally widened in surprise and I immediately attempted to flip my body upright, although I wasn't anticipating that I had magically become super light. Have I not been eating enough? I felt the front of my torso meet with the ground much like my back had earlier. My arms sprawled out in front of me from my stumble, seeing something completely unimaginable. My arms weren't covered in the usual black long sleeves of my Sobu High uniform. Instead, it was a sleeve of dark-grayish stripes with…paws at the end of them?! Oh, I'm pretty furry too. Huh.

I picked myself up, feeling my lower legs had mysteriously become level with my arms. I sat down the lower portion of my body and raised my arms, looking down at my now fur-covered body. I was no expert on cat breeds, but I seemed to be a mackerel tabby. Don't ask me how I know. Let's just leave it at the fact that I browse through various things in the book store when I get the proper free time on the weekends. _Where is Yukipedia when you need it?_

To the right of me against a wall was a large shard of broken glass that I hadn't noticed yesterday till now. Just how dark was this alley near nighttime?

Under normal _human_ circumstances, this chipped off piece of broken glass would've served no purpose, but as something now relative to its size, it served as a full-body mirror for me. Following the pattern that were on my arms, my entire body also appeared to be donning the same theme. I turned myself around multiple times in the mirror examining myself as if I was checking out a recently tailored suit, going to a fancy party full of stuck-up snobs and people who thought they were above the general populace. Ah, that's a bad example. I would never get invited to something like that.

Then I examined my face. _Still retain the dead fish eyes, huh?_ Well at least it's more fitting on a cat, right? My iris didn't seem to expand in the slightest compared to my cat's green ones. In fact, my eyes looked like they were just copied and pasted onto my now furry visage. But what surprised me most was that atop my head was still that lazy, single strand of hair— my precious ahoge. Truly a marker that I was a family member of the Hikigaya name. Runs in the family, ya see? A trademark if you will.

"You done being a narcissist yet?"

My ears adjusted themselves in the direction of the now familiar voice. My head slowly turned towards Satan's furry hand servant, seething anger visible in my eyes. My vision zoned everything out and only focused on his figure. I'd imagine they were slits right now. He hopped off the crates and landed with his two front paws, approaching me with a slight skip in his step towards me whilst his tail waved freely in the air. He nonchalantly sat himself before me. It appeared we were the same height, too.

"You're taking this rather well, master."

 _Okay, that last part was definitely forced out._ I didn't say anything and continued to force out all my anger on him. Visually.

"I'm sure you're full of a lot of questions."

 _Yeah, no sh*t._

He showed his teeth with a cheery eye smile. Somehow I was able to percept that as one. Could use some work, but who am I to talk about smiling?

"So? Ask away!"

Ugh, Kamakura, please don't do that again. That totally just reminded me of Hayama and his dumb 'nice guy' persona that he constantly puts up as a front. The mere thought of Kamakura being related to Hayama in the slightest evaporated my anger towards him out of disgust. _I couldn't live with someone as fake as that._ I heaved a sigh once again.

"…What is going on?"

"I cannot answer that."

He answered so fast…and with a _smile._ I stood there blinking, completely dumbfounded. Wasn't he supposed to help me?! I instantly began barraging him with questions out of both spite and confusion.

"Where're the two cats from earlier?"

"I cannot answer that."

"Why did you run away (from me)?"

"I cannot answer that."

"Did you open the front door?"

"I cannot answer that."

"Did Komachi set me up?"

"She did not."

"Howdid you turn me into a cat?"

"Use your imagination."

"How can I understand you?"

"We're of the same species now."

I then started to question him out of sheer stubbornness rather than for intel on my whole situation. Just to get behind that fur-faced baiter. But he wasn't letting up, the smile still plastered on his face and his answers coming out smoothly as soon as my questions reached his perked ears. It was even more irritating that he continued that theme of omnipotent one-liners. After an entire minute of my pointless questionnaire, half of which I don't even remember the answers to, I momentarily stopped and took in a deep breath. Doing this won't get me anywhere. I looked at Kamakura with one eye, his eyes completely zoned on me. I tried to see what his true motives were, but it was rendered useless as these glorious dead fish eyes were merely used to understanding _human_ body language, not cats. The only cat I understood was Kamakura. I'll adjust in due time. I at least knew that wouldn't be too hard. _Seriously, where was Yukipedia when you needed it?_ He tilted his head at me, rather cutely might I add, eager to know my next move as I visibly calmed down. _Hey, don't do things like that. I might forgive you._

"What is my purpose for being a cat?"

My cat's eyes suddenly widened in interest and as if it weren't already there, he smiled.

"That, detective, is the right question."

I stayed silent, signaling him to continue.

"…Fulfillment."

 _Huh?_

"Huh?"

"It's what you seek, isn't it?"

 _Quit fooling around with me, Kamakura._ Cat's aren't supposed to be cryptic. They're supposed to be direct without a care for the other party's feelings coupled with blatantly stating their desires that isn't already world domination. Seeing my lack of a response, he swiftly hopped back on the pile of crates and turned his back towards me, looking up at the sky whilst bringing his paw to his chin as if in thought.

"…Something _genuine_ , ya see?"

He winked at me after stating that, his mouth breaking into a smirk after seeing my shaken reaction. That bastard…just how much did he know? Putting that aside, I slowly questioned him further.

"And…how do I go about that?"

"I cannot answer that."

"…"

…Is this really Kamakura? I didn't know why I started questioning it until now, but everything leading up to this moment has been strange for an indoor housecat. He was a reserved and rather lazy companion, mimicking yours truly. The very fact alone that he ran away from home already arose many questions. However, I ridded myself of the thought wanting to truly asses the matter at hand. Right now I had to convince myself that I really was in this convoluted situation. My mouth twitched, but before words could come out, he started again.

"It's not so much a "how do I go about it," but a "how shouldI go about it.""

 _Isn't that, like, the same thing?_ I opened my mouth to speak again, but once more he interrupted me.

"You have three questions remaining."

What? Seriously? I smother you in a sea of endless affection and you give me a limit on how many questions I can ask? Cats really are asses. Maybe I used up my 'inquiry charges' too quickly back when I was asking him blind questions in a futile attempt to annoy him. However, I got the feeling that it was more a constraint of time rather than a matter of how many pointless things I asked earlier. Which in that case it'd still be my fault. Perhaps that single minute I spent wasting our time was the underlying factor that would seal my fate. I'm never going to do that again though; it's both annoying and tiresome. So, only three questions, huh? Better ask meaningful ones…

"How long will I stay a cat?"

"Until you reach fulfillment."

My eyes widened at that statement. Then they widened even further upon true realization. Luckily I stopped myself from asking him if he was insane, thus wasting a question. _Yeah, as if I'd make a mistake like that._ I could feel my face scrunch up in frustration briefly. So he's basically telling me I'm going to be considered MIA until I figured everything out?! Komachi and even my parents would begin to worry about my absence! I couldn't imagine anyone else truly missing me aside from my sister, and if she didn't, I might as well commit seppuku with pure sadness as my blade. Seriously, I wouldn't be able to continue living if that fact ever came to be true. Even the thought makes me want to die! I sighed, readying my next question.

"Can you teach me how to be a cat?"

He tilted his head and brought his paw back up to his chin. It wasn't completely out of correlation to my dire situation. I had to be able to maneuver in this form, something I had zero knowledge about. Even basic tips on walking to running and jumping would be extremely helpful. The quicker I could move around, the quicker I could probably find some hellish solution. Hopefully I don't hack up a hairball before then. I wouldn't want all the disappointments in my life to take physical form come from my esophagus.

"What a truly strange question. Heh, that's expected of you though."

I didn't understand what he meant, but briefly after saying that, he hopped off the crates once again and stood directly in front of my silently brooding self. He slowly started to lean in towards me with wide, unwavering eyes. My instincts kicked in and I felt myself reel away from the increasing lack of space. Without actually moving from my position, that is. _Woah, is my cat trying to steal away my first kiss?_ _I'm sorry, but that belongs to Totsuka_. As soon as he backed me to the point where I was just about to fall over, he brought up his paw and—

"Boop."

Huh? What was that? As soon as he finished… _that,_ he allowed me to reclaim my personal space. I touched the area he blessed me on as if in reminiscence. My nose. I gave him a questioning look. He gladly replied with a smile, though I couldn't make any sense of it.

"The instincts will kick in when they are required. Now you have one question remaining."

At that moment I slowly asked the question that's been bugging my mind since this ordeal, hesitation dripping off my words.

"…You're…not really Kamakura…are you?"

The Hikigaya household pet shook his head and closed his eyes, the same smile stuck to his face.

"It's your final question, and now you finally ask that?"

He smirked, and I could already guess what he was going to say.

"I cannot answer that… Nyahaha! The Monster of Logic suddenly turns into a cat and that's your last question?"

My cat continued to laugh at me and I could feel my brow twitch in annoyance. Or was that my dignity disintegrating? I get the strong feeling that this was all just solely for his amusement. He stopped his laughing and brought his paw up to his eye as if he was tearing up, only to burst out laughing some more. That laugh is definitely going to haunt my kitten nightmares until I turn back. I'd better not sleep then; easy solution.

Although I couldn't completely understand everything, it was obvious that I had to piece together everything. And very soon. I couldn't survive long without seeing Totsuka's smile for a few days, you know! Kamakura's paw made contact with my shoulder, shaking me from my thoughts and staring at me with a warm smile. Uwaa~ I think my cat is bipolar.

"You'll find it, master. Now the finishing statement."

"Sure, let's hear it."

I think I may not care anymore at this point. This was already surreal as it is.

"You cannot go home until you find that _genuine_ completion."

"…Is that it?"

"Oh? You're reacting to this rather well, considering you may not be able to see Komachi for a while!"

I felt the obvious fact pluck at my heart strings, but I still needed a period to register everything that was going to soon become inevitable. I inhaled deeply followed by an exasperated sigh so as to prevent myself from crying. I think I barely got by, but my breath had exited out shaky. Ah, my Komachi points will definitely go down the drain within a few days' time.

"Welp, I'm leaving now. Fair well on your journey, Hikigaya Hachiman."

And with his final words, I could feel the wind cling to his back as he ran passed me and out of the alley into the busy street, nearly making a man trip over his own feet. And there, I saw his figure disappear right into the light of the day, likely returning home…without me. It was abrupt, but I felt as though everything my cat had said was set in stone. I think I just fell all the way to the bottom of my household's social ladder. Bringing my eyes off the ground I looked up at the clouds and lazily watched them pass. It was like looking at how slowly my life was going before now. My ears twitched to the busy street in front of me and provoked me to go forward. I stopped just before the light touched my paws, staying within the shadows. The people of Chiba were going on with their much more energetic lives. Wow, I am incredibly small. I am truly just a small piece of the world now, but that's implying I already wasn't. Perhaps I could manipulate some old cat lady and go for the lifestyle I've always desired.

I chuckled to myself at the thought. That was a pretty good joke, and seeing as I've laughed at my own joke, I've definitely raised a flag of going down the path of turning savage. _Of all the animals I ever wanted to be, I wanted to be a bear._

"Woah, what a weird cat."

Some inconsiderate passerby said as they passed by my particular alley. I felt my brow twitch once more in displeasure. Animals have feelings too, you know, and my ruined weekend didn't help to brighten up my mood either. So even as a totally cuddly creature praised throughout the internet, I'm still seen as a creep? The world really is ruthless.

Breathing in the fresh air of my hometown, I took a step into the light and went along with the flow of the street.

My life had been thrown into an event I never asked for.


	3. Boss Encounter

**Chapter 2: Boss Encounter**

* * *

Walk around in these legs for a while and you'll find yourself rather comfortable with them. Of course, I still have high preference towards being bipedal. Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't find this much more efficient. Truly, I've discovered a great reservoir of energy for quadrupedal animals. I'd hate to be a snake on that.

Stopping before a crosswalk, I waited for the light on the other side to signal its approval. Some time had passed since coming out of the darkness of the alley Kamakura indirectly ditched me in, though I didn't know exactly how much time had passed. It was much more natural to focus on one's suddenly enhanced senses, and getting a grasp of them should've been the start. Not only did I neglect that, but controlling them was harder than I had anticipated. My ears twitched in all directions, picking up fragments on all of the conversation going around me. It was hard to even hear my own thinking. I suppose I wasn't habituated with my own hometown in this form yet. Their youth-laced conversations were clouding my realistic and logical musings that were still currently trying to asses my situation coupled with inward cursing towards my cat. Speaking of logic, one may ask why I could not simply stay in that alleyway and think there.

I would've like to as that made more sense, but I may or may not have developed an irrational fear of dark alleys since a few hours ago. Yup, definitely trauma.

With a beep, the light across the street gave its acknowledgement and I could feel my subconscious gravitate towards the other side with the rest of the masses. I could hear the idle chatter they had overhead me as they saw a stray obeying the law like everyone else. No one is above the law. Not even a cat. Except I'm not really a cat, so just call me a god.

…Is this the natural thinking process of a cat? Reaaally scary~. I fear for the residue effects that will linger when I turn back. That is, _if_ I turn back.

Worst case scenario I gain an irredeemable love for cats, going so far as to buy accessories of that theme like another person I know. Maybe even get my hair to stiffen up and look like I have cat ears. God please save me from all this.

There was also the possibility of irrefutably hating on cats, which to be honest, I was currently okay with that. Maybe become a dog kinda guy. Kamakura never did like Yuigahama's pet, right? I think I'll have to impose on her so I could watch over Sable more often out of my pure passive-aggressiveness to get back at him.

As I made it to the other side of the road, I broke off to the left abandoning most of the crowd I had been traveling with. I could've sworn someone was recording me back there. Perhaps I too will one day join the many cats of the internet as another form of moderate entertainment for all ages. I skimmed along the buildings to the right of me so as to avoid the oncoming traffic. A pale existence and out of people's way. That is a variation of a loner's guideline.

Looking to the ground, it was evident that I was reaching a still active but more quiet part of town. More noticeable due to the fact that my ears were no longer acting on their accordance due to the rather lackluster environment around here. Didn't Kamakura say my 'instincts would kick in when needed'? Tch. I needed them to kick in a lot earlier when I was with the youth-crazed society. At this point it was extremely convincing that cats only felt contempt, showing no appreciation for the hands that feed them. Oh wait, that might just be me. Where are my thoughts even going? Exempt that last part. Seeing as the sounds have dwindled, I started contemplating.

Kamakura's words echoed in my head; that I had to find something _genuine._ But where do I start? That cuddly spawn of Satan didn't give me a single lead! I had all the time in the world as a cat, but the human Hikigaya Hachiman had a face that was susceptible to being forgotten. There weren't many who truly cared about me or my existence anyway. In fact, I prefer to be forgotten. Saves me from future confrontations and chances are I didn't like them very much. Still, while that is an undeniably true fact and I was a veteran at it, being forgotten stings just a bit y'know? It's a hard equivalent to being dead. _Komachi, please never forget your Onii-chan!_

At most by the end of all this I'd acquire a superiority complex compared to my present inferiority. Then again most times it was a mix between the two. Maybe even accumulate a list of why I hate cats. I concluded that my time spent as a cat will be the longest I have ever been unhappy…or gone without smiling. 'Least I'm not married, then I would've experienced true unhappiness until the day I die. If nothing is worth it in the end, I might as well go ahead and drink a can of prion disease. Wait no…drink a can of MAX coffee and _then_ prion disease. Yeah, that's the way I wanna go.

However, back to the matter at hand…or paw. _Whatever._

How was I supposed to reach this stage of 'fulfillment' Kamakura speaks about? To find this _genuine_ thing. They went hand in hand with each other…or paw in paw, rather. Geez, why did everything have to get so intricate now? Next thing you know I might get triggered from people referring to me by the wrong pronoun. Not that it mattered much, but I believe they classify me as a tomcat. _Right, Yukipedia?_ Either way, I didn't care what I was. My abilities could only extend so far as Hikigaya Hachiman, which would be considered an all new low standard.

 _Anyways…_

My desire was something _genuine_ which led to my fulfillment. That would be the best way to summarize my predicament. Drawing from that, I asked myself 'when did I start to want something like that'? The selfish desire had always been buried deep within me but didn't start sprouting until I openly stated it.

Ah…right. I _stated_ it. In front of _them_ …

Yuigahama Yui and Yukinoshita Yukino.

So did my answer have something to do with them? My ordeal and my being a cat coupled with those two girls had absolutely no correlation. Well, that's exempting Yukinoshita's great admiration for my kind. Yuigahama wasn't too fond of cats as she was more a dog type of person in the first place. My options were broad yet my paths narrow. Time seemed to be a very inclusive factor in this, and should I start on the wrong foot (paw), I'd be deemed missing for an extended period of time. Turning back to normal seemed to be the transparent, secondary incentive. Fulfillment was first on the list I suppose.

I rounded a corner and heard the distinct sounds of plastic buttons being mashed proceeded by electronic gunfire. I haven't even begun to hone my enhanced senses due to my panicked thinking earlier. Reaching a conclusion sure is tiresome…

I looked inside the exposed building. It appears I've stumbled upon the open arcade. Seeing that, my house shouldn't've been too far away. But alas, I was forbidden from entering that land. This must be the life of an exile. Saved from execution but burdening yourself with the knowledge that you could never return home.

…I really hate the world right now.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I peered inside the arcade, simply fascinated by the flashing lights that were practically everywhere inside the facility. Near the back I could see where you would purchase prizes for an ungodly amount of tickets…oh look, they even have a giant Pan-san the Panda plush. The prizes adorned the wall behind the counter, the amount of tickets increasing as it neared the ceiling. The employee behind the glass case of smaller prizes looked devoid of life, their eyes looking at everyone else who was partaking in the arcade's games. I wondered if that's what I usually looked like to people on the daily, but then I remembered I was pretty much the only entity in Chiba with eyes of my caliber. No thanks to a certain someone always berating me for it. Or everyone, for that matter. Maybe the world hates me back…

Still, the sight further confirmed my philosophy: to work is to lose. That dude looked like he was thinking about death all the time. In the center of the prizes on the wall was a large clock. It read 11:47 AM. Kamakura was right then. I did wake up early on a weekend. An excessively unpleasant, cursed, godforsaken weekend. _Please wake me up from this nightmare and I'll try everything in my power to make my eyes look normal._

However, everything I had seen in the arcade up till now was all thanks to my increased peripheral vision, buffed by my own perceptiveness. My real sights were set onto one still, red dot. Was it malfunctioning there? My body had become stationary without me realizing it. A strange feeling welled up inside that made me just wanna…pounce at it. I managed to resist the urge, but I couldn't steer away my senses from zoning in on that taunting, single red dot. My eyes widened in realization.

It was _the_ red dot. The most basic form of a cat owner's mild entertainment. The internet was plunged in these type of videos, granted you look in the right places. I myself had seen these type of videos for ample enjoyment. It was the perfect balance of amusement that wouldn't become drawl until you reached a state of insanity. Compilations could entertain you for hours on end.

But now I was a victim. Was this the end? So fast…? Had I become enslaved to the red dot like so many of my brethren had? The manipulation of using one's natural instinct with something they could not physically catch, in an endless loop of unsuccessfulness? I understood everything in that moment. The reason why world peace wasn't reachable. It was because of owners that taunted their cats with intangible red lasers as a form of pitiful entertainment as a byproduct of their boring, youth-filled lives.

I'd been trying to move for the past few minutes that felt like an eternity. Damn it, just what is it with predatory instinct and red lasers?! My neck was unresponsive and my gray eyes anchored me from moving any part of my body aside from my tail that was wagging like a dog's due to the stress. Man, what a sight. Suddenly a voice to my left boomed, shattering the hold the red laser had.

"Goramu, goramu…you are indeed a worthy foe. HOWEVER, you won't be able to recover from this next attack!"

My gaze gradually fell upon two backs sharing a multiplayer versus cabinet on some retro fighting game. Weirdos always come flocking to the arcades on weekends, huh… Moments after that outburst the game declared a knockout, proceeded by stating the victor over the match. The person to the left pumped their fist in the air while player two held their face in defeat staring at the controls below them, muttering to themselves.

"I-Impossible…"

The winner left the defeated to sulk as he rejoined with a small group off to the side. I looked at the lesser of the match who seemed to contemplate all the decisions they had ever made in their life till this moment. Well regardless, it was obvious who had broken me from the chains of purgatory. They had my internal thanks. With that, I set off to continue on thinking, only for the fallen to speak up seconds later.

"Fumu, fumu…what is this immense brooding aura, I sense?"

I stopped in my tracks, intrigued by the voice that somehow became more familiar. They proceeded to answer their own question.

"Why, it can only be the extremely boring HIKIGAYA HACHI—…man?"

They turned around grandly with a straight arm and finger pointing. I'm sure they imagined a burst of wind blowing behind them just then judging by that stance. Naturally their eyes trailed down to me: Hachicat.

Hey, I thought that was pretty good…and wait, who the hell are you calling extremely boring?!

Their stance shriveled up from visible disappointment, the shine in their glasses disappearing akin to their hopes and dreams.

They stood there stupefied for a few moments before approaching and kneeling before me. _Oi, don't get near me, are you trying to get yourself killed?_

"What is this? A feline of Hikigaya Hachiman incarnate?"

 _What is this? The chuunnibyou illness in physical form?_

The answer to that is yes, by the way.

"Zaimokuza! You comin'?"

I looked behind him and saw the winner from mere moments ago looking at him, the rest of the small group doing the same. Zaimokuza looked over his shoulder and smirked, giving a thumbs up. _No, it can't be..._ They nodded and left the area, knowing that Zaimokuza would somehow rejoin with the rest of their crew.

 _...Zaimokuza Yoshiteru has friends?!_ I couldn't believe it. Tch. And here he said he didn't have any. Hell, he was even proud he didn't have such a thing! Never trust a guy in a trench coat. Or a tunic.

He refocused his gaze at me, the glare in his glasses returning once more. He brought his hand to his chin, speculating me.

…

Guess I could do the same thing.

The hooman before me wore a light green button up shirt, rolling up the sleeves. He didn't bother to button it up, exposing his plain white shirt. Brown cargo shorts wrapped around his waist held together by a belt. To top it all off, he had regular black sandals on his feet. Truly the pinnacle of casual outwear. He gestured his hand towards me.

"So, humble lion, what doth thou bringeth hither?"

… _Are you serious?_

I turned tail to his presence once more, proceeded by him audibly falling onto his knees and apologizing for speaking such a way in my air of refinedness. Huh, so that still happens in this form? Talk about déjà vu. Though I have to give him credit for being able to sense my aura, something everyone apparently knew how to detect besides yours truly. Very well Zaimokuza, I'll lend an ear as to what you have to say. But if you waste my time I'm going to give you a scar that looks like you had a war with yourself making rice krispies in the kitchen as a reflection of your incompetence. You'd be into that, right? Wait no, that's a terrible idea. It would only provoke him to come up with some kind of fantasy-filled story that _I'd_ have to be the receiving end to. Sparing myself of such a fate, I sat myself down before him again whilst passively trying to get control of my ears.

He smiled at the gesture that I would comply.

… _Why is this man talking to a cat?_

"It is good to see you possess understanding, Hachicat-san. Regardless, you strongly remind me of a friend I have."

 _I don't have any friends._

"INDEED, a friend who has seen the bloodiest of wars alongside me, someone who—"

I began to drown him out as soon as he started his monologue. Ah, so this was what Kamakura probably meant. I looked at Zaimokuza run his mouth whilst making grand gestures with his hands as he continued, but I couldn't hear what he was saying at all. Everything was blurred around me and it was as though I could hear everything else besides the person talking to me. Selective hearing has always been an ally of mine but to amp it up a level this high was surely overpowered. At pointblank I could seemingly control what I wanted to hear now so long as my other senses weren't too preoccupied. This will be a very good attribute to have for my time as a cat. As Zaimokuza kept on with his monologue (to a cat), I was practicing the abilities of what I could zero in on. I'll boop him later as a form of apology for not listening, and I highly doubt anything he said was worthwhile for pondering. It was easy to hear things from far distances, but if I gave it my complete attention its clarity would improve if my eyes were in that direction as well. These must be the specs of being a predator's descendant. It was like that situation I had with Kamakura earlier when I stared poison-tipped daggers at him. My eyes would somewhat discolor everything else besides the one detail, no matter how little or large. I kept on practicing this and eventually turned back to Zaimokuza who was still flexing his monologue. Focusing my ears, I tuned him back in.

"…become a profound novel writer that will sweep the world with my literary works!"

Oh, he's done now it seems. Taking a risk, I turned my head in the direction of the arcade next to us and saw that it was already good half past 12 which spurred two questions: how long did I stare at the red dot and how long did Zaimokuza monologue? I turned back to him and his face was looking in the direction I had turned from. He furrowed his brow and stood up. Ugh, to be looked down on a guy like this…quite literally.

"It appears I enjoyed myself too much, yes, I shall now return to my party. Thank you for listening, Hachicat-san."

 _Oi, get back here. I still need to boop you!_

Turning his back towards me, he walked away to rejoin with his friends and I saw his figure get smaller and smaller until he rounded a corner. Nothing too eventful happened just now and I somehow felt bereft. I sighed at the sudden wave of exhaustion that hit me. I wonder why I always feel depleted when I'm around that guy… I didn't even hear a word he said but his presence alone drained me at an extremely slow yet exponential rate. I've gone over this already. Heaving what strength I had left, I briskly crossed the road to the other side of the street so as to not run into Zaimokuza anymore. I wasn't deliberately avoiding him; I just didn't want to make it seem like I was following him out of fondness. Even in this form designed to hunt prey my energy had just spontaneously vanished. That or I'm unfit, and the correct answer is probably leaning towards the latter. Personally pedaling to school every day should've rendered me from feeling like this. Regardless of either I couldn't help but wonder where my energy reservoir went. It was probably because of the lethargic atmosphere and pacing I had given myself trying to think of a solution to my ordeal. I groaned internally that I would have to face this topic yet again.

In thought once more, I began to go around Chiba aimlessly.

The time passed as though it were nothing. My sense of time seemed to weaken in this state, but that was nothing to blame as my contemplations were of equal fault. Actually, it was probably my immersion in thought alone that was to blame. At the very least my ears weren't a bother anymore and I could block out virtually everything now should I choose to. And I did. Selective hearing is such a good skill to develop in life. I daresay it's even a necessity. The flow of time came upon me as a realization. I stopped in my tracks and looked up to examine my surroundings, surprised I hadn't walked into a garbage dump or something. Good job on that, Hachiman; you avoided going where you belong. The day was still full of light much to my dismay. Maybe I should exchange being a househusband to a housecat. Holy hell that sounds so much better.

Back to the matter at _paw_ (no pun intended), it appeared I had waltzed into a park. At least that's what it looks like considering I saw children on a playground a small distance away. Funnily enough I was still on the sidewalk. Poor kids though; they have yet to be beaten up by the world and wake up to smell the roses. Now, _which_ park I found myself in was a completely different concept that was beyond me. It made no sense, but maybe I would've been able to know which park in Chiba I was in if I were up to scale. But I'm a stray cat, so I just won't care. I stopped thinking about the 'what ifs' of my situation and followed the concrete that twisted about the park. I really needed this easing of the mind, if only for a short while. My inner monologues I have on a daily basis are bound to give me a migraine one day, I'm sure of it.

I was quite literally walking mindlessly now, having not submitted to thinking anymore. I was lucky that no one had decided to walk their dog at this time, which was strange, but I'm not complaining. Well, I always complain, but that's not the point. Having a lax mind was a good thing, and it was far better than simply having an empty one. A disorganized chaos of anything was always a pleasant way of seeing things within one's self, but any spectator would've found the thing as a jumbled mess beyond any reasonable understanding. And that can be said for anyone.

As I let my legs carry me without any direction, I head butted into what felt like a curtain proceeded by someone's leg. Ah, there's a bench right here too. I could hear myself unwillingly mew out an apology for bumping into them and tried to continue my merry way.

That was, until I felt a pair of hands wrap around my furry torso.

 _Huh? What?_

I was held up, suspended in the air and blinded by the sun for a few moments. I closed them to ease the slight pain. Having enhanced eyesight wasn't always good, apparently. Being a cat was a blessing and a curse in and of itself…mostly a curse for my nutcase. Geez, this hurts more than it should.

"What a _cute_ cat."

My ear twitched at the clearly feminine voice. _Totsuka, is that you?_ Wait, he's a dude. The pain finally relieved itself off my eyes and I slowly opened them, hoping it wasn't some old cat lady who would add me to her collection. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be all for that though. I was held out an arm's length away from my perpetrator and as soon as I saw who it was, it was as though my fur turned white, all the colors on my body draining or lack thereof.

Yukinoshita Haruno.

"Aw, you even have an ahoge like _him."_

 _She meant me, right? Right? …And she knows a term like that?_

"And those eyes…"

 _Always the eyes, really…_

My body stiffened up and went limp at the same time. _Was she just loafing about on a park bench? Learn how to spend your weekends, woman!_ The places I find myself encountering her never seized to amaze me.

"Say, are you Hikigaya by any chance?"

 _Gosh, am I that easy to discern?_

She hadn't even put me down yet _and_ she's questioning me. Talk about rude. Lacking any motivation to give her a proper response, I slightly tilted my head so as to look in question. She smiled at me and giggled. _Please get me out of here._

"My little sister would _love_ to see you."

Is that so? I'd much rather be in her arms than in yours. She placed me on the vacant side of the park bench and scooted my small body towards her. On second thought, I'm not going to make a run for it. I don't need to respond to her anyway. I'm just going to wear a hardhat made of neglect.

 _Yeah, those would pass as excuses. Whatever enables me to be immobilized._

I felt her hand graze up my spine to my head, tugging on my lazy strand of hair before she released her fingers from my furry body. That stroke she had just done on me had my body turning red, making me glad I wasn't of the sphinx variant. I looked up at her with my eyes of dead fish, a smile plastered onto her face. Judging from where they were looking, she was looking at my posture which too also slouched. If I stooped when I was a hooman, you better believe I'm going to stoop as a cat. I fixed my posture to carry her eyes away from me if only for a little while.

But simply sitting up was a mistake. She raised her brow in amusement at my clear action.

"Oh? You seem to be observant as well, Kitty-san."

 _Sh*t! It was a trap!_ Tch. All good devils really do masquerade in the light! To be so easily played the fool. I cursed at myself for not seeing past her mask like I usually do. She looked ahead of her onto the open field of grass. I merely sat there watching her do so. It was nothing.

There _was_ nothing. She was probably waiting for some friends…or something. Girls do that on weekends and stuff. I think.

…

Several minutes passed and she spoke up again, my head whipping to face her.

"How interesting…"

She turned to me with an apathetic look.

"You're not really a stray, are you? Your actions are not that of a cat and you seem to understand what I'm saying, am I wrong?"

I sighed audibly, which came out as a really lame 'meow', stood up, hopped off the bench…

… _and made a run for it._

She was looking into me too much, and my much smaller physical form made it much harder to endure the pressure she was exuding. My energy reserves suddenly booted back up on that note. I'm positive it was because of my fight or flight radar going through the roof when she made that comment. I briefly looked back and I saw her giving me an ominous smile as she pulled her phone out, putting it to her ear. I am an idiot for even choosing to linger there. I kept on running and eventually found my way out the park, weaving through the people on the street to get as far away from that she-devil as much as possible. Our interaction was minimal and my actions were most definitely rude, but screw that I'm a cat! Nothing applies to me anymore, nothing ever did.

 _Except for the law._

I eventually came to a stop to catch my breath. Hopefully my recovery time is much faster than usual. And there I can see it in the distance, a weird force drawing me towards it. It was a sad thought to have but this place served as the next best place to seek refuge.

Sobu High School.


End file.
